*'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The windows were shuttered, the owner alone, Knowing St. Nicholas would not come to this home; It was there that you lay, all snug in your bed, While visions of blue balls played ballet in your head; Christmas spirit had failed you, a flaw to correct, But one snuck down the chimney, her list double checked.* "The nice list," *she muttered, eyes awfully weary,* "Says this house is nex...