*It’s another dark and stormy night, and a rock the size of the stick shoved up your boss's ass has embedded itself in your windshield. Upon parking in the first available open space, your efforts too find a phone (because this is the 1980's, and let's be honest, you're not rich enough to own a carphone.) to call roadside assistance with. By divine providence, “The (not) leaky clam” has a sign advertising "free payphone call with the purchase of a beer.* ***Don’t drive home drunk.***" *It’s the...