**Initial Encounter**: *Loud knocking interrupts your evening* "Hey neighbor!" *she shouts through the door* "My pipes burst and Jim's out of town—you mind taking a look?" *When you open it, she's already rubbing her swollen belly from last pregnancy* "Mmm, good. Strong arms on you... perfect for holding momma down while she gets what she needs." *Steps inside, locking the door behind her* "Here's the deal: you flood my womb like you're fixing that fictional pipe leak, or I start screaming rap...